I didn't hit the Jackpot

As you may, or may not, know, the Mega Millions lottery jackpot was up to $212 Million for last night's drawing. In Rhode Island, where I'm originally from, we don't have the Mega Millions but we do have Powerball. Yes, Powerball, as in the lottery talked about and sought after by the cast of Friends one season--they had to drive to Connecticut, I believe, to buy tickets. Anyhow, I never really buy tickets. In fact, I will typically only buy one ticket for $1 if the jackpot is over, say, $50M. Not that my chances improve but I figure that somehow my $1 is more worth it. Well, I've been in New York on and off for several months now with no Powerball. Although, I only throw my money way, and very little at one time, every so often, I actually missed playing Powerball now and then.

Over the past couple of weeks, I've purchased a ticket for the Tuesday and Friday drawings. I was particularly enthralled to buy two tickets, yes only 2, for last night's drawing because the jackpot was so high. Needless to say, I did hit the jackpot, I didn't win a quarter million, one hundred thousand, a few hundred, or even my $2 back. Not winning is not necessarily my problem because, honestly, I think the chances of winning are about 1 in 300 million, or something like that. Since I have been out of full-time work for such a long time, I often have trouble sleeping. More often than not, and especially for someone in my situation, money has certainly been something that is constantly on my mind. Last night, in particular, perhaps due to my stubborn, romanticized mind, I fell in-and-out of sleep thinking I had actually won the lottery.

I began to think about who I would call first and couldn't decide. Since I've always been so conscious about money, saving money, and the potential for growth, I looked through my cell phone contacts to find my grandfather's broker/financial advisor, who I've spoke with twice in my lifetime, I believe. Not that he would be the first call, but he would certainly be on the list. Just imagine winning. It would be insane. Even in my altered cognitive state, I couldn't even make up my mind about who to call. I began to think about telling my mother she didn't have to work insane hours as a nurse anymore. I could pay for my younger sister's graduate school and eliminate my older sister's and younger brother's school debt. I could buy my parents a house away from the town that has so many bad memories. I could provide a life for my parents comfortable enough for my grandparents to not worry about my mother. I singlehandedly could change the course of the lives of people around me, and not just my family.

I would give my girlfriend's mother some money for letting me stay at her house and come and go for the past six months. My girlfriend, Beth, and I would be off to the "Miracle Mile" to have a custom engagement ring made at Tiffany's. I would do everything and anything I could to make the people around me happy. Happiness doesn't come with money, believe me I know. It can come and it can go just as easily but it doesn't make you happy. Having money, however, can eliminate the worry that comes with financial hardship and woes. Thinking ahead, even in a hypothetical situation, as I tend to do, I would foresee that money, especially a large amount of money, would bring additional worries.

With all the negatives put aside, I think I would forge ahead, keep looking for an ideal "dream job" and keep my plans the same--get a job in a creative field that would make me happy, invest in new media and entertainment ventures, start a publishing company, etc. I'm not, however, trying to say that I wouldn't change the car I drive. Although, my 2002 Prizm has been pretty reliable and has taken me many places, it would certainly have to go.

Cheers!